Staring Back At Me
by blackdragonflower
Summary: Mello is thinking about why he left Wammy House Orphanage and who he left behind. Memories of his best friend Matt send him into a spiral of thoughts and confusion. Things only keep getting worse for Mello as he drives further away from LA to avoid people


Staring Back At Me by blackdragonflower

Summary: Mello is thinking about why he left Wammy House Orphanage and who he left behind. Memories of his best friend Matt send him into a spiral of thoughts and confusion. Things only keep getting worse for Mello as he drives further away from LA to avoid people seeing his emotions. Friendship fluff.

Characters belong to Tsugumi Ohba and Takeshi Obata.

A/N: The "I don't know what do you wanna do" scene is from a one-shot written by me and xlashingcriesx and belongs ½ to her.

---

'_Why did I leave?'_

_'They were cramping your style, keeping you down.'_

_'Still but why?'_

_'This is the only way you can beat Near to be L's successor.'_

_'Maybe... but did I have to leave __**him**__ behind?'_ Mello took a bite of chocolate his thoughts drifting back to Wammy House, the place where he grew up. He often thought of his best friend, but he hardly ever thought his name much less said it. All his emotion that was connected to the orphanage he kept under wrap deep inside himself. Mello folded the foil over the top of the candy bar and shoved it into his coat pocket where it would be safe. He ran a hand through his blonde locks of hair before he climbed on the motorcycle and took off. He sped through the streets of Los Angeles, driving faster and faster leaving the speed limit far behind. He broke free from the city limits and drove away from the bustling people and cars.

Matt's smiling face appeared in his head and Mello rapidly pulled his motorcycle to the side of the road. He had avoided the highways for this reason; he knew the gamer would appear in his head and send his control into a downward spiral. "Damn it. Fuck..." Mello felt a drop of water splash upon his face. He looked up and a raindrop hit his eyelid and dripped down his cheek like a tear. For the first time in years Mello breathed his friend's name aloud, "Matt..."

Flashbacks flooded him; everything around him became nothingness, an empty hole devoid of emotion. All Mello could see, could feel, was what happened years ago, when Matt had been right there beside him. Not as family, a lover, but as a friend, a best friend. Mello felt an aching hole deep in his chest as the raindrops littered the world around him. He was drenched now, his hair was sticking to his face but Mello did nothing to move it. It was as if he could hear Matt's voice right there beside him. Mello looked down at the motorcycle humming underneath him, guzzling gas with every moment.

A flashy car sped past in the dreary rain and Mello smirked. Matt had always liked cars when he wasn't playing videogames. They were like another addiction for him; he was fascinated by everything about them, what was underneath the hood, the rims, and the frame, everything that made a car a car. The motorcycle gave a cough, it was low on gas.

_**"Matt, I'm bored!" whined Mello. "Amuse me."**_

_**"No..." Matt continued to play gameboy. Mello stomped over and snatched the game from Matt's hands.**_

_**"I'm bored amuse me now."**_

_**"Like what do you wanna do?" Matt groaned scowling. **_

Mello smirked; an amused chuckle escaped his throat. He knew he should be getting out of the rain but the memories; they were too sweet to drive away from. He was going to let them come this time, no fighting them away.

_**"Have you seen Matt L? He stole my chocolate bar..." **_

_**L shook his head, "Not that I recall Mello... I believe he was running towards the library last I saw him..."**_

"Damn bastard... he got away with my chocolate..." Mello laughed remembering the incident. Later Matt had confessed he'd taken it and gotten him a new one, the whole time nervous that he'd be hit or yelled at. Mello did yell and throw a fuss but he simmered down quickly compared to if it had been someone else.

_**"Hi Mells!"**_

_**"It's MELLO! Say it right."**_

_**"Sorry." Matt smiled shyly and crawled onto his bed, pushing various magazines on the floor. Matt picked up the stuffed animal and hugged it. "Ya know Mello... you look like Mr. Snookums!"**_

_**"I do **__not__** look like a damn teddy bear Matt!" **_

Mello sighed; it had been his first day at Wammy House. No one had wanted to be his friend, not that he encouraged anyone, but he'd still deep down hoped someone would want to be his friend. He was glad it was Matt that decided to be the one to let him in.

The motorcycle coughed and sputtered before it died. Mello cussed under his breath. He was a long ways away from the city and no one had driven by for quite awhile. Droplets splattered on the road creating a slick surface. Mello got off the bike and took the handlebars in his hands, gripping them tight with frustration. He felt uncomfortable; all the leather he was wearing just didn't mix with water. He began to walk the bike, every step included with leather pinching his skin. The coat wasn't doing much for keeping him warm now since water had slipped inside. He almost wanted to give up.

_**"Mello you can't just give up! What about beating Near!"**_

_**"Matt I don't fuckn care! Near's a bastard, he can die for all I care."**_

_**"But... Mello what about what you said! You said you were going to beat Near and be number one!"**_

_**"Get over it Matt."**_

_**"So, you're leaving then?"**_

_**"Yeah. I am and no one's going to stop me..." Mello huffed, a small bag on his back. He'd need to travel light.**_

_**"No one?"**_

_**"No one. This is how I'm going to beat Near in the end Matt. You'll see."**_

_**"No one..." Matt's mind lingered on the words solemnly. "Good luck Mello..." Mello cringed and bit his lip. He was glad the gamer couldn't see, he needed to be tough. He had to survive. Mello started to sneak into the hall when Matt's voice stopped him, "Mello... Goodbye...I'll miss you...Don't ever give up." Mello nodded and continued on. **_

"Fuck..." Mello cussed aloud. Of all the memories that was his least favorite, the day he'd left Wammy House. The day he'd left his best friend behind, hurting, and all because of _him_. The last words Matt had said replayed themselves in Mello's thoughts. '_I'll miss you... Don't ever give up.'_ Mello bit his lip and pressed onward. What was he thinking complaining about the pain in his legs, how cold he was becoming, it was a disgrace. Mello trudged onward, his ears perked at the sound of a car engine. It was slowing Mello noticed and he looked back ready to pull out his gun.

It stopped beside him its glossy red paint glimmering despite the pouring rain. The window rolled down a crack, the voice, replayed in his mind often, it couldn't be here, couldn't be real right in front of him. The window came down the rest of the way and Mello found himself staring at a familiar figure clothed in a striped shirt and still wearing his trademark goggles. Flaming red hair and that addicting smile that you couldn't help but crack a grin at.

"Hey Mells... need a ride?"

Heavy droplets seemed heavier with his past staring at him from behind the steering wheel and orange lensed goggles. Mello cracked one of his signature smirks his best friend's name once more escaping from between his lips, "Matt..."


End file.
